Un-Follow Your Heart: When Our Blogs Lose Readers

Got my ducks in a row?

Got my ducks in a row?

I know I shouldn’t focus so much on the numbers, but The Intrinsic Writer’s “following” has been rather stagnant for the past two or three weeks. Right now, I’m stuck on number 264, which is both low and high depending on who you are, and where you’re at on the blogger’s assembly line.

Last week my number was 266. Over the weekend it dropped to 263. Then yesterday, it jumped up a notch to 265. When I checked this morning, I saw that it had sadly fell to 264.

Sigh.

Let me tell you this. The more followers I lose, the stupider my latest post seems. On Facebook, the “un-friending” tactic is the ultimate social media bitch slap. On Twitter, it’s a little less severe, since avid Tweeters tend to have followings in the ten-thousands.  But on our personal blogs, the occasional “un-follow” feels a little more, well, personal.

I’m always two steps ahead with my blogging, often pondering ideas days before they are written. This alone takes vast amounts of mental energy. Then, when I compose a post, I don’t just write off the whim. Any of my loyal supporters (you know who you are and you’re wonderful) knows I’m no willy-nilly blogger. I take time to craft my pieces. I put thought into them. I aspire to spread knowledge and raise awareness.

So when someone dumps me, kicks me to the curb, gives me the shaft…it hurts.

And as a result, the slippery slope of toxic mental activity begins to roll: No one likes me, I’m not appealing enough, My writing is no good, I’ll never be published, He or she is interesting, but I’m not.

And so on…

Do I need to take the proverbial “chill pill”? Most likely, yes. After all, blogging is not about racking up the numbers; it’s about making connections with others. I have a group of blogging friends who have helped me in valuable ways, and in the long run that’s all that should matter. And it does. And I know that.

But I’m human and I forget sometimes. And no matter how you slice it, rejection simply sucks. Furthermore, I’m curious. What makes someone “un-follow” another writer’s blog?

Ducks walking Joses Tirtabudi → in Birds

Some reasons to possibly consider:

1. Posts too much

2. Posts too little or sporadically

3. No particular reason, just cutting from the list to make this experience less overwhelming.

4. Just not interesting enough

 Sound familiar?

In response to # 1: I don’t post too much. I’m not blowing up anyone’s inbox…I don’t think. At the very most I’ll post three times a week.

In response to # 2: I don’t post too little either. Again…three times a week. I’m consistent, yet not obsessive.

In response #3: Not much I can do about that.

In response # 4: My worst nightmare realized.

But hey that’s life, right? No matter what I do there will always be some “non-fans.” I’m a teacher, I know. You can be as fair and engaging and helpful as you can, but some students just will not take to your style.

Focus on the ones that do…in teaching, writing, and in any endeavor.

While I’m at it I’ll tell you what makes me ‘un-follow’ someone’s blog. I’ve only done it maybe three times at most. We are all striving to get our voices heard and we are all struggling with the truth that getting people to give a !@#$ about what you have to say is a very difficult enterprise. This is why I typically don’t kick people off my list. I know how it feels.

However, I draw the line at these two notions:

1. Not following the standard blogging “etiquette.” If I reach out to you, leave comments, make it known that I now subscribe to your site, and I hear zilch from you, yet meanwhile you’re posting away and responding to other bloggers, then likely, yes, I will set you free. No hard feelings. There’s just obviously no “blogger chemistry” there.

2. You leave a nasty, unprecedented, comment to one of my posts. I’m not talking about simple disagreement; that’s good, in fact, that needs to happen sometimes to keep the conversation going. But a rude, uncalled for comment or unrelated rant will give me plenty of incentive to give you the boot.

I’ll reiterate…it really isn’t about numbers. Unfortunately though, the brain recognizes numbers. We’ve been trained since a very early age to assign meaning to said numbers. Therefore it’s only natural that we bloggers become “follower counters.”

Still, it’s nice to recognize the true, underlying purpose in this enterprise and that is to make friends, to show support, and spread ideas.

I am still curious though…what makes you “un-follow” a fellow blogger?

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58 Comments

Filed under Why We Write, Writing Process

58 responses to “Un-Follow Your Heart: When Our Blogs Lose Readers

  1. Interesting post! I don’t unfollow very much either, but if I do, it’s usually because I just need to draw down my inbox messages, or because, as you stated in your #1 about blog etiquette, if someone I follow and leave comments with doesn’t respond in turn, or doesn’t respond to my comments atho responding to others, then unless I REALLY like their post, I either unfollow and just stop “liking” and leaving comments.

    Like you, although it isn’t about “numbers”, when I see someone who has been blogging as long as I have and has twice as many followers, I do begin to wonder what I’m doing “wrong”–whether there’s something I should be doing to reach more people that I’m not doing, or whether my posts just aren’t the kind the “masses” like.

    Isn’t it odd how so many of us “persons” take blogging so “personal”? Maybe it’s in the genes (-:

    • Yes, I’ve wondered the same thing about doing something “wrong!” I know exactly what you mean! But we definitely take our blogging numbers, etc. personal. There’s no doubt about that. It must be in the genes! It’s human nature I guess. But I think the best thing for me to do is to continue to do my thing (and you do yours as well). It’s never a good idea to compromise oneself!

  2. Just write. Worry less.
    You said it here: “You can be as fair and engaging and helpful as you can, but some students just will not take to your style.”
    It’s a big world, something for everyone. So have fun

  3. Hey, thanks for sharing this post! Today marks my three month blogiversary with over 4,000 followers. I’ll share some insight on this topic from the last three months of experience.

    A WordPress follower has two options (1) follow you via WordPress and (2) via email. The member has the right to change their settings to only allow the Reader to pick up your posts as a follower. This saves a lot of space when they check their email every day. So, no hard feelings that you lost one email subscriber because they are still following you via WordPress.

    Now, just imagine, for every one person who follows you – that’s one person less for that follower to follow as well. If I dedicate 5 hours to read other blogs, giving at least 1 hour per blog, that’s only 5 blogs. So, obviously you have to make your blog posts more presentable. Always question, “Would anyone spend time reading my work, or would they find something else to read on the Internet instead?” Time is invaluable, so invest in it for others to do the same back.

    Now, the fun part! The content is the core of your blog! Do you post too much? You might be surprised when my average post is around 900 words, and I published every day (except for the last two days) of January. I thought I was posting too much as well. It’s a quality over quantity approach. If you can give me originality and overall quality in 900 words, I would rather read that than 500 words of someone venting about their personal life.

    Believe it or not – I am only less than 70 blog posts in three months. If I posted every day, that would be around a total of 90 blog posts. Give the reader an incentive to come back for more – regardless how often you post. I do believe, however, you should post at least twice a week. You are fine with that one.

    Now, this is what makes me cringe the most about your blogger belief system, or blogging etiquette. Never ever engage in a follow back blogging system! If I follow you, I do not expect you to follow me back. If you follow me, do not expect me to follow you back. I have 4,040+ people total with about 1,000 on WordPress to follow. If I followed 1,000 people, I would never have time to contribute anything close to what they do. So, where’s the catch? Every time I receive an award – I have this award system:

    (1) Attentive
    (2) Willing to engage
    (3) Always contributing
    (4) Returning the love
    (5) Dedication

    If my blog followers and those who pass by are attentive, willing to engage, always contributing, returning the love from when I visited their page, and shows true dedication on my blog – they will be acknowledged. I hope my advice helped! Take care.

    • Hi Prinze Charming, thanks for stopping by. I appreciate your taking the time to shed some light on the blogging world! You definitely gave me some new insights.

      I think you misunderstood me though–I don’t expect everyone I follow to follow me in return. I personally can’t stand when people come right out and say, “I’m following you, so please follow me back.” (I’ve actually seen that a few times).
      I
      never do that. But, if I decide to follow a new blogger, I will let them know that I’m a new follower and then I’ll make a general comment about their most recent post (or any post of theirs I may be reading). My point was, when I take the liberties to acknowledge someone, and I don’t get any sort of reply, I may be inclined to move on.

      You said it yourself with your list above–it’s about give and take no matter what and there is an etiquette system in place.

      Thanks again for reading! You certainly seem to have made some serious strides with your own blog!

  4. My main reason for I unfollowing a blog is number 1 😦

    I don’t expect every blog I follow to follow me back, and I don’t follow every single blog that follows me….but, what really really annoys me is when I comment on blogs and people can’t be bothered to reply. After it happens a few times, I’m afraid, I unfollow. I respond to every single comment left on my blog. If someone’s been nice enough to read my post and comment, then they deserve acknowledgement IMO.

    *steps off soap box* 😉

    Xx

    • Hey Vikki–
      I guess I was a little unclear about expecting everyone who I follow to follow me back…I don’t expect that. I meant it the way you put it…when I go to comment on someone’s blog, yes, they should write back! I agree wholeheartedly.
      What you said is just it…if someone writes on my blog, I respond to them. And often, I’ll go leave a comment on their blog as well. Do I sometimes follow, yes. But the key is give and take.

      Thanks for stopping by!

  5. I imagine most bloggers unfollow because they’re just spending too much time blogging and they need to free up times for other things. I doubt it’s personal, at least not in most cases. I only unfollowed one blog because the blogger posted too often. I felt bad, but I couldn’t keep up with 2-3 new posts per day. My inbox is already full of posts waiting to be read. 🙂

    • Hey Carrie….you’re probably right, I’m sure it’s not personal. It just feels that way sometimes (not unlike your most recent post 🙂 )
      I’m with you on the inbox!

      • I created a separate email folder for all new blog posts. This helps keep my email more organized, and I can get to the posts when I want to and not worry about deleting the email alert by accident!

  6. I think I have only unfollowed one blog and that was because the content was obscene. Really obscene.

  7. gwendolyn jerris

    Glad you are having this very open, frank conversation. I know so little about blogging, and thought that I was supposed to follow each of my followers back. I didn’t want to hurt anyone’s feelings! Also I recently lost a reader (my baby blog is only in its fourth month) and wasn’t sure what to think… I now have a little bit better understanding of how things operate, and really, what I ought to be accomplishing in a blog post, thanks to you and everyone else here (especially Prinze Charming, so thorough)! Best, G

    • Hi Gwedolyn, I’m glad you stopped by 🙂 I don’t like hurting people’s feelings either! But it’s true it’s not absolutely necessary to follow everyone back. Just stick to the blogs you like in terms of following. IMO, however, it’s common courtesy to reply to those who leave you comments, etc., much like Vikki above was saying.

      I’m with you though. I’ve been doing this for a while and I’ve a lot of progress, and yet I still don’t know what to think when I lose a reader. I guess I’m realizing now (ironically since writing this post) that it could be a number of things and it’s best to just keep going and not give up! So much of blogging, writing, etc. is persistence. I know that much is true.

  8. Yes, relax and breathe, don’t stress. 🙂 I think the main reason I’d unfollow someone’s blog is to try to make things less overwhelming. I’ve actually been thinking about this lately. I’m just going to happily try to blog and not take offense if anyone unfollows. I love blogging, but I must admit, I do not reply back to every comment posted on my blog. I see from one of the other comments left here that I must be committing some kind of blogging cardinal sin…all I can do is apologize. I’m one of these people I just comment back if the notion strikes me. Same with commenting on blog posts I read. No offense to anyone, could just be how my chaotic life is going at the moment or I can’t think of anything to say.

    • You’re not committing any sins! Lol. Everyone has their own agendas when it comes to blogging. You’re so very right though. I need to take a step back. I love what blogging has done for me though, and that’s what I should focus on. I party wanted to write this post to open up a discussion like this. I figured there probably others who have had similar feelings. We tend to put too much emphasis on the numbers (like I said). It’s just something that’s been nagging at me lately, so I felt the need to bring it to light.

  9. I’ve experienced the losses/gains in followers, but after a year of going up and down, it doesn’t bother me as much. What bothers me is when I can’t keep up with all the blogs in my reader.
    The only time I really un-follow a blog is when they re-blog all the time and don’t post original content.

    • You have a good attitude. After today’s post I’m starting to understand this whole thing a bit better. So thanks for your wisdom. Good reason for “un-following” blogs. There’s one I didn’t see coming. I agree with you though. I’ve seen a lot of “reblogging” myself. Hmmm….something to consider!

  10. Mish

    I don’t follow blogs but I read this one when you post the links to it on FB. So I’m probably not counted in your numbers..but I am reading!

  11. Natylie Baldwin

    Hi Katie,

    I found your blog a few months ago because I was searching about flashbacks in writing and came upon a post you did on the effective use of flashbacks in novels. I liked your post and realized that I tend to like where you are coming from in your comments and suggestions on literature and writing. That’s why I signed up to follow your blog posts by email.

    I like the fact that you don’t have so many followers that you can’t reply to posts :). I follow a couple of other writer blogs that have really big numbers in terms of followers and because of that they don’t reply to everyone who posts. I think they have very interesting insights (although one of them pooh-poohed the use of flashbacks, so I don’t agree with everything they say), so I continue to read them, but I don’t bother posting comments.

    I think your blog is a bit more modest in terms of followers but is manageable enough to be more intimate. That’s how it feels to me, anyway.

    • Thanks Natylie…that means so much to me! I never really looked at it that way, but now that you mention it, I’m proud of having an “intimate” blog. I too, have subscribed to blogs with thousands of followers and have never gotten responses to my comments, etc. I can understand though. It must be very difficult to manage blogs of that capacity. I’m grateful for readers like you and the responses I’m getting as it is. Thanks for your words, they meant a lot!

  12. I’m still getting into the blogging world, so I’m following, not un-following as a general rule. But I have un-followed a few blogs. A couple were big name bloggers who don’t return-visit, and I found their blogs not helpful enough to keep visiting. (My time is becoming more and more limited the deeper I get into social media.) The other one was a blogger I met during a bloghop who rarely visited my blog and finally stopped coming. I’m not sure if she didn’t like my blog or if she just didn’t *get* the return visit courtesy thing, but I finally got tired of the one-sided relationship.

    I wouldn’t get too caught up in numbers, though. There could be a multitude of reasons for losing a follower–entirely unintentional computer glitches among them. Just last week I was working with someone who had followed my blog by email but wasn’t getting the notifications. We’re still working on it…

    • Hi Melissa. Great comment. I do feel that the “return visits” you speak of are important though. I agree that it often does seem like a one-sided relationship. That’s a good reason to do an “un-follow.”

      I know I shouldn’t get caught up in numbers, it truly is silly. Actually writing this post was therapeutic for me. All the wonderful comments I received really helped put things into perspective.

      Computer glitches. Good point.

  13. Like some of the previous commenters, I sometimes will un-follow a couple blogs at a time because their content was not useful enough to justify the use of my time or inbox space.

    Once, however, I un-followed because I just thought the blogger was-ahem!-immature. The guy was about ten or 15 years younger than me, and the type who makes grand proclamations without sufficient life experience.

    Kinda like me, 15 years ago. I’m hoping he grows out of it, too.

    • Some people will never! (Grow out of it that is). I had a commenter write a crazy rant to one of my posts once. It was borderline scary–like I half expected him to show up at my house!

      I agree though…there are some people who, in general, are not worth following, because of righteous or immature postings.

      Thanks so much for stopping by!

  14. You’re not doing anything wrong. You’re a wonderful writer. I’ve learned that readers come and go, leave, and often come back. Remember this blog is for you. Writer for you and those who like your words will come. I keep a list of blogs I like and read, following them overloads my inbox, which, as Deborah said above, can be a bit much.

    • Wow…thank you Brenda. That actually meant quite a lot to me! I get so down about it all sometimes, because all you ever hear about how big your platform needs to be, etc. I just get tired of it all. But you’re are so right…this has to be about me and my writing or really, what’s it worth?

  15. I, too, take unfollows and unfriending very personally. I had to just stop checking. It’s hard on FB b/c the # of friends is just right there…in my face. But, on WordPress I hide the box that says # of followers because I simply can’t care. I DO care, don’t get my wrong, but it truly hurts me when someone unfollows. Why? What did I do? Do they not like me? Do they think I’m stupid? Did I say something offensive? I could go on and on and let it ruin my entire day – it seriously has in the past. I hate when people hate what I have to say (which can be often since I tend to speak my mind on my blog) but my husband always reminds me: You put yourself out there and not everyone is going to like you.

    I know you know this. I just thought knowing someone else feels the same way may help! And your writing is fantastic and I imagine that you are a great teacher! ~Hugs!

    • Well I’m glad I’m not the only one! I think hiding my number is going to be one of my next steps. Someone once told me that it was a good idea to post your number on the blog, because a high following might encourage more followers to join as well…but honestly, it’s been nothing but a source of true torture for me!

      I’ve let un-following issues ruin my day as well. I always try to stop the bad feelings in their wake, but it almost always gets in. But it’s like I said above to another commenter, this post itself has actually been very therapeutic for me. All the comments have helped me see the issue in a new light. I debated not posting about this topic, but ultimately decided I needed to get it out, and see if others felt the same way I did.

      Thanks for your awesomely kind words! Knew I could count on you 🙂

  16. Interesting post, and interesting discussion!
    There were a couple times I made a point of unfollowing someone. One was because of a strongly political post (one I didn’t agree with, but regardless, I’m not interested in inflammatory blog posts like that) and the other was a blog that regularly cut down other writers. Just bad karma, I suppose.
    Once in a while I’ll cull my follows and weed out blogs whose only reason to exist seems to be to push their books, or blogs that post too often (once or even twice a day!) with redundant content. I try to keep my inbox a happy place, and overcrowded with junk is not happy!
    I can see that people might unfollow me (and I freely admit this!), because my posts are sporadic, though I try to keep up a pace of three/four posts a month. I would post more, but posting takes time and I have a book to write. 🙂

    I wouldn’t about it! Not everyone will like you or what you have to say, but rest assured, I think those of us who are here are in it for the long haul!

    (And I checked ‘notify of follow-up comments by email’, so your follows might go up by one now! 😉 )

    • And I meant ‘I wouldn’t worry about it’ Doh …

      • Yes the four or five posts a day blogs can get to me! You’re right…I feel that the people who “frequent” my blog really are in it for the long haul (so thank you!) and I truly am learning–since writing this post–that’s that is all t hat really matters anyway.

        I think writing three or four times a month is a good tactic actually. In fact, it’s something I should probably considering doing since I too, as you know, am revising a book. Hmmm. I really should!

        And I knew you meant “worry” about it.

  17. Abrielle Valencia

    Katie,
    I can’t imagine not following you. Your blogs are always interesting. But then again, everyone will not attract “everyone”. After all, everyone will not follow Christ. I know one thing; I’ll continue to follow you because you are an inspiration to me. P.S. I think you found the perfect rhythm…not too much, not too little. #Blogs 😉

    • Abrielle thank you soooo much! Your kind words simply made my day! I can’t imagine not following you either! Your blog has changed my thinking in many ways. And you’re right…no one will follow everyone, and no one will BE followed by everyone. I just need to relax! Thanks again, you’re the best!

  18. Miss_More

    I know exactly how you feel, blogging kind of puts you out there, I’m fairly new to this blogging thing & I’m in the stage where, my views er day, is all
    over the place, I would get highs for a while, then it would just suddenly go low, & I often find myself contemplating quiting the whole blogging game but then I remind myself that I’m doing this for me, I enjoy it & even if I God forbid, get 2 views a day, I’ll still be enjoying it the same way. Maybe you should look at it that way, getting un-followed hurts, but you still have a solid fan base who obviously adore you.
    P.S your blogs kinda ROCK….. a lot.

    • Thanks Miss More! Your blog rocks too! I love your blunt, candid opinions. I’m always in for something interesting when I visit your blog. The same thing happens to me. The up and down, etc. When I look at my stats I notice the same patterns you describe. I have to say, I’m glad you mentioned that, because I’m starting to think that maybe that is a normal thing that occurs on everyone’s blog. I always assume I’m the only one, and I need to quit that already, because I’m getting a little too old to be egocentric. After all, I’m not a toddler anymore! Thanks for your encouragement though! I’m glad we connected!

  19. This is a great question. Katie. While I haven’t lost readers, my numbers stay the same for long periods of time. I realize that my posts aren’t consistent i.e., everyday …. but I put a lot of thought, like you, into my entries. I will try once a week….we’ll see how it goes. Thanks for giving me something to think about.

    • I get that too…stagnant numbers for long periods of time. Then once in a while, one of those will slip away. I never looked at your posts as inconsistent, because they do pop up maybe once or twice a month at any given time. It’s the ones who go for six months without posting that I would call sporadic. Once a week is good though, manageable. Currently I’m working on three times a week, but often it only ends up being twice a week. It’s not easy, I don’t know how some people post everyday!

      But like you said, your posts have a thought in them. I would think posting everyday would lose some of that.

  20. I would not worry too much: 264 people is still a lot. You will not be able to frequently interact with all of them. So, you can consider the number an abstraction. It may say something, but it might be a mere coincidence: loosing 1 or 2 followers over the weekend when you have that many.
    If I would suggest anything that you can take personal: focus on the meaningful interactions with your readers as a sign on how your posts are being received.

    And don’t worry too much: not each and everyone of us will like all your posts. That’s simply impossible. Write what you want to.

    • Hi Edwin, thanks so much for stopping by! You’re absolutely right…everything you said is the truth. I never considered that before…the nature of the comments a given blogger receives is more telling than the actual numbers. Great point. I’m already getting better at the whole taking it personal thing. This post helped a lot actually, but the comments were so thoughtful…much like yours! Thanks again.

  21. Katie, I meant to comment on this right when you posted, and then my day blew up. You are spectacular, and your posts are informative, fun, and brilliant. As my students say, “Screw the haters.” 🙂 They have no idea what awesomeness they’re missing.

    Personally, I tend not to look at my numbers too frequently. I used to show my follower number on my home page and because WP counts Twitter and FB numbers (if they’re linked), I felt like it was a big fat lie—so I turned that feature off. I think seeing comments and visits is more helpful info, since it gives you cues for content. But even then, I don’t look too often if I can help it. (I wonder if this is similar to what celebrities feel when they read tabloids?) Keep rocking it, chicka. You’re fabulous!

    • Thank you so much, Eva! This comment really brightened my day! I need to remember that I have a slew of FAITHFUL followers that enjoy my work and whose works I enjoy. That really should be the ultimate goal here. I don’t know why we get so caught up in numbers. Maybe we’re just wired to. I turned off my following count, because it was starting to get to me. Each time it fluctuated I’d freak out and I’d stop concerning myself with what’s really important when it comes to keeping and maintaining a blog…writing and making connections.

      You’re spectacular too by the way! 🙂

  22. Hi, this is quite an interesting post, and I wish I had time to read through all the comments (I hope to come back and do that later, but you know how it goes about good intentions).

    I had this thought while reading your post, which others may have already expressed,: maybe people stop following for reasons that have absolutely, positively nothing whatsoever to do with you. Meaning, we never know whether there are things going on in our readers’ lives that would explain the decision to stop following. When I read blogs, I feel immense frustration at not having MORE time for them.

    Yet, with an adult son who has multiple disabilities, and husband recently diagnosed with Stage IV cancer who is undergoing chemotherapy, my life is really dominated by larger issues right now. Since I follow over 100 bloggers, I simply don’t have time to read them all everyday. I can imagine that some people might feel the need to “unfollow” a lot of their list just to avoid the temptation to spend too much time on the computer instead of in real life. It can so easily become overwhelming to those of us who are naturally more distractible.

    It is such a temptation to get caught up in the numbers, but I try to avoid this. I am blogging mostly to keep myself focused on positives, and any connections I make with others are wonderful; an added blessing that is icing on the cake. While blogging can be a great asset to any writer, I think of it mostly as a way to break the isolation I often feel due to my personal circumstances. I’ve found the blogging community to be supportive, friendly and a great place to visit with people even on days when I can’t go anywhere for more than an hour.

    Thanks for visiting my blog after I first found yours! And I really like your writing. I hope you will not get discouraged.

    • Thanks Julia, for this insight. You’re right. We have no clue what goes on in other peoples’ minds and lives. This post and the slew of comments have actually been very helpful to me because I’ve realized how silly I’d been acting about my “following.” I suppose the writing magazines, etc. try to stress the importance of having a solid platform, etc. and ultimately this is rooted in my dream of being a “real” writer. But then again, I don’t know where I got this sense that having a massive following was the only way to be a writer, etc. It’s not, and I’ve since processed that truth.

      I really like your writing as well and am so glad you like mine! I’m very sorry to hear about your husband’s illness. My thoughts are with you.

  23. I don’t seem to lose followers on my blog, but I’ve been blogging for over a year and have fewer than other blogs that are pretty new. Sometimes that can bother me. What really hurts my feelings is losing followers on Twitter. The number of followers there is staring back at me, and when someone unfollows me, I just don’t get it. I wonder if I didn’t tweet enough or were my tweets not interesting? I try to go on with my day and not let it bother me, but it does. Not forever though; eventually it goes away.

    • Yes, that’s just it. You wonder. It’s the not knowing. I always thought the hardest part of rejection was mystery aspect to it…that whole notion of “Why.” But those are the kinds of poisonous thoughts that discourage us, etc. I have fewer followers than people who’ve been blogging for less time than I have as well. That’s someone else I don’t quite get, and it used to get to me, but now I’ve realized that as long I’m happy doing my thing, than it’s all really irrelevant. Thanks for your insight.

  24. I think it’s rude to not respond to comments and likes on your blog. I understand that there will be days where time is short, but MOST of the time, a blog should be about engagement and conversation. So, yes, I agree.

    On the up side for our writing egos, sometimes the blogging platform simply drops people and they have to re-subscribe. 🙂

    • Hi Jenny, I’m glad you stopped by! I agree that it’s rude to ignore comments/likes on your blog. The whole process is about give and take after all. That’s the only real way our blogs can grow.

      I didn’t know that about the blogging platform…actually makes me feel a bit better! 🙂

  25. Good points to ponder. My $.02 worth = don’t worry about your numbers. Remove the word “rejection” from your vocabulary. Blog/write because you love to do it and revel in the satisfaction your words bring. Don’t do it for anyone but you … we will find you! Write on!

    • Thanks Patrica…you are right. They will come! I like that about removing rejection from my vocabulary. I’ve actually gotten so much great feedback from this post that it’s beginning to sink in! It’s helped me realize how unimportant the numbers really are.

  26. I don’t think the numbers are important either, you write because you feel inspired and the comments and engagement with others is a reward, but it was never the purpose. It is good to find like-minded bloggers whose sites we can comment on as well, but it’s not always the case that the interests are mutual.
    If you continue to write about things that inspire you , you can’t be doing anything wrong, rather than worry about the one who left, go and find another whose work you like and tell them 🙂
    Inspirational post and great replies! You have a great following clearly.

  27. Hi Katie!
    Love this post! I don’t think I’ve actually ever unfollowed a blog that I follow, but I really really dislike bloggers who don’t post regularly. I read a lot of mommy blogs (understandably) and there are a few of them that have great followings (like in the 3-4000 ranges) and they stop posting for a month with no explanation. I understand that blogging is a hobby and life gets in the way, but to me as a reader it feels like a slap in the face.

    Also you really brought up something I didn’t think about–commenting back when people comment to you. I dont get many comments and just realized that it IS a good idea to write back to every comment. I’m gonna go do that now!!

    Hope all is well!!
    Krista

    • Hi Krista! I’m so thrilled you stopped by! I have to admit your comment got me re-motivated…I hadn’t actually posted in a month myself (yikes) when I read your comment. So I got right back into it! Now it feels like I never left. Blogging is great. It comes as natural to me as it does to you!

      Yes, I’ve found the best way to make connections via blogging is to comment on other blogs and respond to comments on your own blog. There’s lots of gimmicks for increasing blog traffic, but IMO good old fashioned manners win every time.

      Keep in touch 🙂

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